The funniest parts are-
- 00:52 the way the 3 guests tease the host Ze Diogo Quintela on his french "Ballon d'or"
- 04:52 When one of the guests (Tiago Dores) imitates Cristiano Ronaldo when he's about to make a free-kick (sets the ball, takes 3 steps backwards, legs spread apart, hands on waist, one deep breath.)
My favorite of the 3 is the third guy on the right, Tiago Dores.
The 3 guests interrupt the host with glasses constantly to steal the show by being funnier.
English translation:
Host: My camera? Oh, ok. Good evening. Welcome to one more edition of 'Ze Carlos.' A program that is doing well.
Guest: Wow. A super introduction.
Host: Today, is one of the last 2 shows of this series. (Audience moans 'oooh' to show sadness)
Guest: And?
Host: Oh, I thought we added the audience's 'oh' in post-production.
Guest: No. It's because those 5 euros per person go a long way... They did it well, good for them!
Host: Now let's talk about the top story of the week.
Guest: Let's go, what is the top story?
Host: It is CR7. The man who seems like a motor brand name. CR7 a great player. CR7 is Cristiano Ronaldo. Cristiano Ronaldo won the "Ballon D'or"
00:52 Guest: He won the what?
Host: the "Ballon D'or!"
Guest: What happened to him? [laughs mockingly and surprised]
Host: From the french magazine "France Football."
00:58 Guest: Now he's speaking in French!
Host: Yes, now I speak French.
Guest: But
Host: Hey, I'm the host of this show
Guest: I was going to say, that next time you'll show up with a baguette under your arm.
Host: And wearing a beret
01:27 Host: Cristiano Ronaldo is a divo, a star for the young people, the other soccer players. The truth is that there is already a school of football called Cristiano Ronaldo that teaches guys how to be like Cristiano Ronaldo. We visited the school. Now you visit it too. Here's the video:
01:50 SKIT:
2 guys and the teacher. Teacher tells them some phrases in English
teacher "you have beautiful eyes."
"I like you very much"
"Baby, you want 300 pounds?"
That's what you say when you're in Manchester.
Teacher: Now on to lesson number three.
What's you last name, your jersey number? Put them together.
02:52 Teacher in the dressing room, with mirror and powder make-up brushes. "This you use because of high-definition TV."
"Here at the Cristiano Ronaldo school of football, a lot of young guys come here to be like Cristiano Ronaldo. When they come here, the only thing they know is - playing spectacular football. But, they need to learn how to buy a diamond in English, pick up tv showgirls!"
03:36 Teacher: "Now onto lesson number four. How to speak to the media." [Known that sometimes CR says arrogant things] "What do you say when you just got nominated for an award?"
Student: "I humbly accept this nomination. It's an honor to be among the nominees."
Teacher: "Hey! Stop it right there. You, how do you talk to the media?"
Student 2: "This award, of course I deserve it. I think that I deserved to win this award four years ago even though I was a professional only 3 years ago."
Teacher: "See, that's how you talk to the media!"
04:18 Host: "You know, Cristiano Ronaldo was not satisfied with the award [Ballon D'or]. He had said he was the best player in the world, the second best, and the third best. Yet, he only won the award for the first place.
Host: One of the important lessons in this school is how to make a free-kick, Cristiano Ronaldo style. Tiago, you know how to do it, show us.
04:52 Tiago: Ok, if you insist. [Gets up, sets the imaginary ball down, takes 4 big steps back, spreads legs apart, puts hands on waist, takes a deep breath]
A little about this Portuguese show 'ze carlos':
'Ze Carlos' is a segment of the satire show called "Gato Fedorento." It's a satire show with skits that make fun of current events, politics, and sports. All the skits are performed mainly by 4 actors Ze Diogo Quintela, Ricardo Araujo Pereira, Miguel Gois, Tiago Dores (my favorite). Each of them tends to imitate one of the Portuguese soccer players.
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